Blush
by Pikachumaniac
Summary: There comes a day when all children must grow up and get married… whether they like it or not. Neither Zexion nor Leon are of that same mindset, but nobody's asking for their opinion anyway. Especially not the evil stepfather. Leon x Zexion AU. Dropped.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Blush  
Summary: There comes a day when all children must grow up and get married… whether they like it or not. Neither Zexion nor Leon are of that particular mindset, but fate has a funny way of hitting you in the face where you least expect it. Leon x Zexion AU.  
Final Disclaimer: … aren't you really, really grateful that I don't own KH if I'm going to write stuff like _this_.  
Notes: No, really, I'm not on anything. I came up with the idea pretty randomly, although it took me a while to decide on who I wanted to have as the other half of the coupling. Why I decided on Leon, I don't really know.  
Anyhow, this is sorta a fairytale-inspired fic. I don't have a completely clear idea of what I'm doing with this fic… mostly it's just crack, but I really want to see if I can get the coupling to work. Not sure how well I'll manage that, seeing how at this exact moment I am playing through KH2 whilst writing… bwaha to my mad multitasking skills (and is it just me that Ansem the Wise is _so damn bitter_, while Axel and Roxas are totally **love**… fwee!).

_chapter 1_

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a wise king known amongst his people as Ansem the Wise (the people of this fair kingdom were not very creative). And while he was not always wise, he was still a very kind, benevolent ruler, although he tended to have a bit of a nasty, bitter streak when people betrayed him.

He also had a deep, deep voice that most would associate with the coming of evil, but that is a completely different story.

For most important to _this_ particular story was the fact that Ansem the Wise had thirteen children, each lovely and unique in their own special ways. And they were loved very much by the kingdom… mostly because the vast majority of the populace had never had the unfortunate luck to actually meet any of these wonderful children. The thirteen children were, after all, the kind of people who were simply much, **much** more admirable from a distance.

Sadly for these thirteen children and Ansem the Wise, as well as the kingdom of Radiant Garden, their peaceful existence (previously marked only by the various conflicts that inevitably sprout up when thirteen very volatile and often incompatible personalities were forced to live under the same roof) was shattered when an appropriately evil villain named Xehanort swept into their lives.

For someone lacking a memory, Xehanort still somehow managed to become a force to be reckoned with. Unfortunately, nobody took sufficient notice of him until it was too late, and next thing anyone knew, Ansem the Wise had been deposed and sent to the darkness (where he would remain in a perpetual sulk until he escaped as a fashion disaster, since red bandages are typically only fashionable in horror movies), the thirteen not-so-lovely children were put under house-arrest (which was not much of a change from before as many of them were recluses anyway, with the exception of the ever cheerful Demyx, who had terrorized the populace with his note cards and infamous water tricks that usually left everyone soaked), and Xehanort had taken Ansem the Wise's name in a bid to become king.

Very few people outside of the palace were aware of this change.

Fewer still were actually affected.

* * *

For the purpose of being marginally interesting, our story revolves around the few people who really were impacted by this change, both inside and outside of the palace. 

One of the most important of these characters is, of course, the man who had brought about the downfall of Ansem the Wise. Xehanort, now known as Ansem (without the 'Wise' part, a reasonable decision on his part), might not have been the smartest guy around, but he did know how to use people to his advantage. Part of the reason why his take-over had been accomplished so quickly and efficiently was because he had seen the dissatisfaction simmering within the thirteen children, and gained himself some formidable allies. Among these allies included the oldest child, a young man by the name of Xemnas who resented his father for lavishing attention on the other children (otherwise known as acknowledging their existence, but this was for Xemnas an unforgivable crime). However, after promising this child that he would revoke Ansem the Wise's previous ruling that incestuous relationships were to be frowned upon, Xehanort quickly gained Xemnas's help in removing Ansem the Wise from the throne.

Once he had done so though, Xehanort found himself with the singularly unpleasant task of actually having to run the place. This was nowhere near as fun as most people would think, which made it exceptionally questionable why Xehanort would have wanted the job in the first place. Any pleasure he might have taken from the job was also hampered by the fact that many of the un-traitorous children (a term that was to be used lightly, as it was not as if any of the other children had bothered to lift a hand to save their father when they realized what was happening) were uninterested in helping their new stepfather out. In fact, some would downright sabotage his evil plans, such as the time Axel had set fire to his brand new wardrobe the day before his coronation ceremony.

It was at this point that Xehanort realized that he needed to teach his stepchildren a lesson if he was to be able to run his kingdom (distasteful a task as that might be) in relative peace.

The best way to do it, Xehanort decided, was to take his role of evil step-father seriously. And to do so, the most evil and conniving thing he could possibly do (according to his informational pamphlet on doing a proper job as a villain) was marry off his children. Well, at least one of them, to maintain a good image of being very, very evil.

There was, however, a slight to this plan. Despite having thirteen lovely and marriageable children, Xehanort found it quite difficult to locate even one that could be married off. Xemnas, as noted before, was in a happily incestuous relationship with his younger brother (child number seven) Saix, and Xehanort knew better than to break a promise when both children in question were somewhat psychotic and prone to fits of violence. Same went for Axel, who was easily one of the most aesthetically pleasing of the bunch but in a relationship with the youngest son Roxas, who while actually adopted (read, stolen from his family at an early age, and quite unaware that he had a twin brother who may or may not eventually play a significant role in this story) and therefore not actually related to Axel, was also jailbait. However, rather than try to use this against them, Xehanort decided it would be too much work to use blackmail when there were nine other lovely specimens to choose from.

Or seven, when one remembered to recall how child number ten had run off with child number eleven less than a week after the coronation. In this case, anger was not the reaction to such a betrayal. Oh no; most people recalled this incident with amusement and bewilderment, as it had been widely thought that Marluxia was a bit of… well, let it be said that he was not the type to be interested in women, and Larxene was not the type of woman to play nice. Yet the two had hit it off, and then they had run away, leaving fewer children for Xehanort to choose from.

Xigbar, with his wonderfully playful personality, was the second eldest child. He also had a tendency of trying to shoot people in the eye, perhaps due to the fact that he was missing one himself. Nobody had ever quite been able to explain how that happened to Xehanort, but he didn't particularly care anyway. Either way, Xigbar was un-marriageable, and therefore unnecessary to Xehanort's evil plans to look evil.

Same went for Xaldin, Vexen, and Lexaeus, who were respectively children number three, four, and five. Each had _issues_ that made it impossible for them to be married off: Xaldin had sideburns, Vexen looked creepy, and Lexaeus was so determinedly _not_ uke with his bulging muscles and towering height that there was really just no hope.

Then there was Demyx, Ansem the Wise's sweet ninth child. Demyx was actually quite ideal for a situation such as this, what with his good looks and bubbly personality that usually charmed the people who were not immediately repulsed by it.

He was also, however, in Xehanort's opinion one of the most incompetent morons ever to set foot on this planet, and while it was his opinion that marriage was not exactly the most difficult thing to accomplish, he had a feeling that Demyx would still manage to screw it up.

Hence Demyx was spared.

Xehanort therefore came to the conclusion that the one to be married off to the highest bidder would be Luxord, the tenth child. He was suave, quite handsome (once Xehanort ripped out that ridiculous earring), and prone to making rigged bets.

It was through one of these rigged bets that Xehanort found himself promising not only to **not** marry Luxord off (which was completely the opposite of what he had intended), but had also found himself up to his eyeballs in debt to the tenth child.

Needless to say, Xehanort did not have the required five hundred thousand munny. He barely had ten thousand, and he recalled to his dismay that one of his main selling points in ascending to the throne was no taxes. It was not much of a concession, seeing how people didn't pay taxes in the first place, but it did account for the fact that despite being the ruler of one of the richest kingdoms in all the worlds, Xehanort did not have any munny worth mentioning of.

It thus became even more urgent that Xehanort marry off a child and get some money. And because all of the other children were not quite under the category of eligible, this left only one child.

The sixth child, Zexion.

It did not matter very much to Xehanort what Zexion felt on the matter, seeing how he was out of options when it came to dysfunctional children. He did not even bother to ask for an opinion, as that was what evil step-parents did. Instead, he quickly spread the word that Zexion was looking for a husband. _Any_ husband. And along with this message, Xehanort also let it be known that Zexion was not only eligible for marriage, but that the sixth child of Ansem the Wise was also quite a lovely specimen. Blessed with brains, beauty, and a charming personality, it was a wonder that suitors from here to the End of the World were not already eagerly trying to woo such a gem.

That of course changed very quickly once word got out, which served to please Xehanort to no end, while at the same time irritating Zexion—a pleasant bonus in Xehanort's opinion—due to the fact that it deprived this intellectual child of a quiet time to read, as it is difficult to concentrate when there are people constantly tapping on your window trying to get your attention, not quite caring that they are interrupting your alone time with one Marquis de Sade.

Yes, Zexion was starting to get quite irritated with all the interruptions and suitors, each one as hideous as the last. Zexion was starting to be of the singular opinion that each suitor was also as moronic as the last, especially when each of the conversations seemed to go as follows:

"My, you look lovely today."

At this point, Zexion would give the insignificant being who dared to speak to such a lovely specimen a haughty look. This was followed quickly by a contemplative look, although nobody knew that the thought going through that wonderfully brilliant mind was something along the lines of how to best kill the moron and make it look sort of like an accident but not really. As the point was not only to make it a painful death, but to send a message to similar fools.

While this thought was being thoroughly examined, the suitor—apparently really as vacant as he appeared—would continue on, oblivious to Zexion's deepening scowl, "A lady as lovely as yourself surely would enjoy having one around to fully appreciate-"

"I am male."

Here, there would be a long pause as the suitor would abruptly be silenced, staring at Zexion with wide eyes.

And Zexion would smirk, a small, triumphant smile of satisfaction.

Unfortunately, the smirk would quickly be wiped off his face when he discovered that most people really didn't care. Or rather, they didn't care enough because not only could they marry Zexion (for he really was quite pretty, and in this time and age that was usually the most important quality men looked for in their wives, even if said wives were technically male), but they would no longer have to deal with a certain evil stealer of thrones threatening to blow up their worlds.

* * *

What with the constant distractions—generally from those Zexion considered vastly inferior to himself—it did not take very long for Zexion to become even more of a recluse than he already was. Only snails confronted with salt were more reclusive than him, and the amount of danger he was in was about the same as that poor snail. 

Particularly when it came to the future of his sanity, as Vexen and Lexaeus constantly reminded him of.

"You do realize," Vexen said to Zexion one day as they pored over his wonderful collection of acids and poisons, "that he will choose for you the richest husband, and not take into account things like looks, charm, personality, and brain cell count? He might even end up choosing someone more stupid than Demyx."

(At this, Demyx yelled 'hey!' and promptly tripped down a flight of stairs in his haste to prove his intelligence to his older brothers, thus losing even more brain cells. Actually, that is a lie. Demyx really was a smart person and a good fighter, but he was also a bit of a klutz and he didn't know when to shut up, which to the likes of Vexen and Zexion, automatically meant that he was an idiot and a waste of space, however unfair an assessment this might be.)

Lexaeus nodded in agreement, although he chose to keep his eyes on the experiment, as the last thing he wanted was for someone to mix something that would result in multiple people losing their eyebrows. Which might have been okay, even beneficial to Zexion who would probably do well to appear less attractive to all the annoying suitors, but for him and Vexen who needed all the looks they could possibly have, it was not the most ideal situation.

"He can try," Zexion replied, wondering if there was any way to slip some of the acid into Xehanort's shampoo. He doubted that making his step-father bald would make any real difference to the man's appearance, as he was not exactly the most attractive guy ever (but then, Zexion was biased against orange eyes). "But do not blame me when people start waking up with slit throats."

* * *

End Notes:  
And while I play KH2… _why oh why does Leon smile so much_?! He like… smiles once in all of FFVIII, and that's at the end, and that's when he's about to get _laid_. But in KH2 he's all happy-happy joy-joy, which is terrifying to say the least.  
Sora just got his little membership card that totally looks like a Disneyland year-long pass. Heh.  
This will get updated... when it gets updated. Which hopefully will be sooner than my usual rate, which is about once a month...  
PM 


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Blush

Notes: Just got through the Coliseum Underworld when I started writing this chapter. Auron. _Auron_. Oh, how I love your bad-assery. And Demyx makes me laugh so hard when he runs by Sora and the others, screeching at the top of his lungs… it is too cute. It makes me heart Demyx so. And I'm starting to think that Hades is one of my favorite Disney villains ever. The car salesman voice acting is just way too awesome to resist.

Anyhow, here's a chapter two. Special thanks to ButterflyxSoup, SomeWhereFarOff, VirtualLibertine, and Paranormal Medicine for encouraging me to continue on with this fic! I'm glad you're enjoying this fic, 'specially since it is pretty cracky and the coupling is… a bit weird, to say the least, so I can only hope you like it nearly as much as I enjoy writing it (and cackling afterwards over all the brains I managed to break).

_chapter 2_

While Xehanort was relatively new to the art of being an evil stepfather, he managed to get the hang of it as quickly as he had gotten good at deposing rulers.

Well, just the one, really, but that was usually enough to satisfy most people.

Anyhow, the point was that Xehanort had quickly realized that in all likelihood, Zexion was never going to choose a husband himself. And, should this expectation somehow be contradicted, Zexion would end up choosing someone he actually _wanted_ to marry, which was at odds with his desire to deny the boy of any chance at happiness. Thus, Xehanort had come to the obvious conclusion that _he_ had to be the one to choose Zexion's husband.

This was a development that anyone with half a brain could have foreseen, but that didn't stop Zexion's dear siblings from reminding him of that fact each and every day.

"I _will_ get back at all of them," Zexion hissed one day as he stormed through the hallways. He had already had a difficult night with potential suitors tapping on his windows (despite it being four stories up; he might have been impressed with their tenacity if he wasn't busy plotting their gory deaths), and breakfast had barely begun before Luxord had gotten on his case about the bags under his eyes being very unattractive. Two seconds later and the current favorite topic of choice—_his future husband_—had once again started up, even after he had threatened to eviscerate the next person to speak with a rusty spoon.

Xigbar would be having some problems with walking for the rest of the week, but it wasn't like he had failed to give ample warning.

"You must admit, it is the most interesting thing that has happened since father was overthrown," Vexen pointed out. "It's no wonder everyone is-"

"I rather thought Marluxia running off with Larxene was quite extraordinary," Lexaeus mused. "Who ever would have thought that the two of them would end up falling for each other?"

"Yes, because incest is just _so_ interesting," Zexion snapped. "Especially in this family, where it is practically the norm. Can we get back to the topic at hand? I need to decide who I want to murder first, and if the two of you do not wish to be on that list, I suggest-"

"Yes, you have a point there, Lexaeus," Vexen said, clearly not listening to his younger brother, who was starting to develop a twitch in his face. "True, the two of them were always quite friendly with each other, but when they actually got together! What a scandal _that_ was."

"I remember Axel nearly choking to death when he heard. A shame that he did not succeed," Lexaeus added, also unaware of the death looks he was getting. Although it was quite possible that he was simply ignoring it, as both children had gotten quite used to Zexion's glaring.

However, before Zexion could let his siblings know the full extent of his displeasure, a guard approached the trio, giving them a quick salute before saying stiffly, "Prince Zexion, your stepfather requests your presence in the throne room."

Zexion sighed as he was reminded who the real cause of his ill temper was, "Requests? Demanding is more his style, I think."

"Like I'm supposed to tell the difference."

He blinked, taking a moment to comprehend what had just been seen as he fixated the man with a long look. It was an unfamiliar face—handsome, he supposed, even with the long scar running down the middle of his face—but that was not saying much, as the turnover rate since the takeover had been quite high. Xehanort was not the easiest man to work for, and the somewhat homicidal group of children Xehanort had been saddled with was really no better. Ansem the Wise, at least, had been willing to offer compensation for the horrible working conditions in the form of high pay and excellent benefits (most of which went into healing work-related injuries), but what with his lack of funds, Xehanort saw no reason to bother.

This aside into the hiring practices of the castle goes a ways into explaining why someone with such an… off-putting disposition was now addressing the princes so rudely. Now admittedly, Zexion did not really care how the servants treated him—although that had nothing to do with benevolence for the common folk and more to do with how he found most people to be beneath his interest, and therefore had little reason to worry about how people acted around him.

However, that was under normal circumstances, of which this was most certainly _not_. Zexion had, after all, only moments before been trying to disembowel his older brother with an eating utensil. He was obviously not going to be in the best of moods as he had been rudely prevented from finishing this very important by… well, one of the palace guards. Thus, Zexion was not only in a foul mood—foul when compared to his already perpetually foul mood, anyway—but he was also now holding a grudge against anyone who had the misfortune of being desperate enough to don the bright orange and lime green uniforms that marked the wearer not only as a guard but the laughingstock of the town.

"You are new here, aren't you?" he asked finally. He managed to make the words sound very commanding, despite the fact that if he wanted to properly glare at the guard, he'd have to have Lexaeus lift him up. However, this combined with his best glare did not seem to be doing very much as the man with the scar just glared right back, looking very unimpressed.

This irritated him greatly.

"Yeah, I am," Scar Face said, still sounding _very_ indifferent. After all, it was terribly difficult to be scared of someone who was just so damn _short_, even if he was the heir to the throne (five sons removed) and glaring with enough intensity to cause lesser beings to spontaneously combust. "What about it?"

"Well, not anymore. You are fired," Zexion said simply—because he had to take his frustration out somewhere, even if it was on a lowly palace guard, pathetic as that may be—before sweeping away and towards the throne room to find out what his evil stepfather wanted, Vexen and Lexaeus following close behind.

Squall 'Leon' Leonhart glared at their backs as they left. "Whatever."

* * *

"I got rid of your new guard," Zexion said by way of greeting as he entered the throne room, resisting the urge to turn around and walk right back out when he saw that that there was an additional, unexpected, and most definitely _unwelcome_ visitor there.

"Did you now," Xehanort replied, not caring a whit. Guards were a dime a dozen—quite literally, since that was pretty much the amount he paid them. No wonder people weren't clamoring for the job. Besides, he had something much more interesting to discuss with his stepson, and so he introduced with the cheerfulness of a person about to get rid of one of the annoyances marring their existence, "Stepson VI, this is Zeus of Olympia. I believe you two have much in common."

Zexion raised an eyebrow as he gave the man a quick look-over, clearly unimpressed with what he saw. A philanderer, if he had ever seen one. Probably already married and looking to add to his harem, and most definitely father of several bouncing baby brats, none of which he was going to be sending child support to. "I highly doubt that."

"Nonsense," Xehanort replied with cruel cheer. "As even you can see, both your names start with Z."

Zeus seemed to find this very funny, as he roared with laughter at the idiotic joke. Zexion could only manage a strained smile as his opinion of the man went from bad to worse, and the smile degenerated into an outright death glare as Xehanort and Zeus continued to share their merry laugh. He was, in fact, so busy trying not to twitch as if he was going into some sort of epileptic seizure that he failed entirely to notice when they stopped laughing and Zeus came closer, akin to a raptor spotting a tasty bunny.

Or a recently released rapist looking to make up for lost time.

"You truly are a beauty," Zeus praised, causing him to blink in horror as thick hands grabbed his daintier and decidedly prettier one, slobbery lips pressing against fingers that had written many genius mathematical equations and scientific breakthroughs. He could just feel the sexually transmitted diseases migrating over, ready to attack his brain and make him as sex-addled as this moron.

"Thank you," he lied through his teeth, grinding them so hard that he was surprised they didn't break from the pressure.

"I have never seen one as beautiful as you," Zeus continued.

"You are starting to become repetitive."

"I have not even seen the meaning of beauty until I saw you."

Zexion said nothing, but that was because he was suddenly smiling. And it was not a death-warmed-over smile, but a genuine smile of somewhat sadistic pleasure. And while Xehanort might have been able to convince himself that this smile was from the compliments, in reality Zexion was smirking because he could see Zeus's eyes starting to slide away from him (thank Shiva!) towards a certain blond. And for once, he had reason to appreciate the nosy curiosity of his siblings, as if they had not been, then Roxas and Axel would not be here to enjoy the spectacle.

It seemed that they were not the only ones enjoying the view. Zeus seemed to have _quite_ a thing for pretty blond boys, if the drool starting to escape out the side of his mouth was any indication. Even Demyx, who was usually blissfully unobservant of this sort of thing, was staring back and forth between Zeus and Roxas in blatant horror, while Axel—who was very, _very_ observant when it came to his 'Roxy-kins'—was reaching slowly for the lighter he always had hidden in a back pocket (this time Roxas's, since Axel always appreciated an excuse to grope the youngest (and adopted) prince of Hollow Bastion.

Thus, it was to be of little surprise to anyone who knew about the situation to wake up the next morning to discover that the guest room Zeus just _happened_ to be staying in had been burned to a crisp, and a somewhat charred Zeus had fled the palace at the speed of lightning.

When informed of this terribly unfortunate development over breakfast, Zexion concealed his smile by simply nodding and asking Axel to pass the salt.

* * *

The next of Xehanort's choices for Zexion's future mate was a grim-looking man by the name of Claude Frollo. At first glance, one would assume that Judge Frollo was a tight-ass, a man who strictly followed the rules of his church to the point of an illogical extreme. Zexion was also fairly certain that such a person would probably also have more than a few screws loose when it came to common sense, and not to possess the personality of a dead fish.

It would be one of the few cases where Zexion was actually _not_ pleased by the fact that he was completely and perfectly one hundred percent correct, as it turned out that Frollo was not only all of these things, but a hypocritical, hormone-drive, lust-ridden _idiot_ who knew only how to parrot a few lines from a book and yet still managed to twist them into something completely ridiculous.

Plus he was just plain creepy, as Axel had commented on only three times a second for the past two days.

Claude Frollo also had a rather irritating tendency of glaring down his hook-nose at Zexion, who had a pretty good idea what all the sneering was about. And it irritated him quite a bit, since the idea that the bastard could look down at him—at _him!!_—while openly lusting for him made no sense. Not to mention the constant remarks about how he was sinning, and the long lectures on the many reasons why he was going straight to hell without a trial were _irritating_, to say the least.

Needless to say, Zexion was quickly going stark-raving mad, and the only way he could see himself getting out of this unpleasant situation was by convincing everyone else—or at least, the people who actually mattered—that it would also be in their best interest to get rid of this so-called Judge _immediately_.

It was therefore time to approach Xemnas.

Now, it wasn't that Xemnas and Zexion did not get along. They actually did, in a way that was at least better than their combined relations with the majority of their other siblings. For one thing, the two had a lot in common—their IQs were comparable (aka, **high**), their sense of fashion similar (black all the way), and they shared mutual hatreds for people like, say, _Axel_, as well as similar opinions on the likes of Demyx. But even the best of brothers have some rivalry between them, and what with the two brothers in question being as arrogant as they were, the competition between the two could sometimes get quite extreme. Xemnas, still smarting from the time Zexion destroyed his science project at the tender age of four months (he absolutely refused to believe that Zexion had not actually meant to drool on his work, but that it was just the beginning of many similar sabotage attempts), took great pleasure from his plight, evidenced by the fact that he burst into maniacal laughter every time they passed each other in the halls.

Zexion therefore decided to make the best of a bad situation by pointing out to his oldest brother exactly why it would be to everyone's benefit that this marriage not take place.

"You know," he said casually to Xemnas in the library, three days into Frollo's visit and three seconds from Zexion losing his mind. "About this Frollo-"

"Your future husband," Xemnas corrected, a cold, sadistic smile on his face.

Zexion did not let this observation phase him, "And _your_ future brother-in-law."

From the small smirk on Zexion's face, Xemnas had a feeling that this was something of important. Despite the not-so-friendly sibling rivalry they had going on, or perhaps because, he knew Zexion well enough to now that the smirk plus his typical scheming was _not_ going to result in his favor. He would have to choose his words carefully. "What of it?"

"Frollo is a very… how would I say it, religious man who has very strict views on homosexual relationships. Which makes it questionable of why he is here in the first place, but we will set that aside for now. I know that _you_ know of the constant lectures I have had to endure on how this… union will send us both to hell, but just imagine what will happen when he discovers that my dearest oldest brother is having an equally questionable relationship with my younger brother. I imagine that incestuous homosexual relationships will be far worse, perhaps turning the brunt of his irritating lecturing to _you_."

Xemnas gave Zexion a look, "Why are you telling me this?'

"Because it will be quite deplorable of me not to give you some warning before I inform him of this fact. This way, at least you have enough time to get some ear plugs, although then he might just start going after Saix. And I imagine that Saix is not quite… calm enough to just settle for ignoring him, and might _accidentally_ kill him. And we all know how his style of killing is quite messy. Not only will we be dealing with bits of body on our clothes and in our hair for _months_, but the palace staff will be cleaning blood out of the walls for weeks… well, that is if the castle is still standing."

There was a silence before Xemnas frowned, simply saying "I get your point" before sweeping off to find Xehanort.

Frollo was sent packing the next day.

* * *

The third suitor was a pirate by the name of Barbossa. Actually, he was not really a pirate, but he was the closest thing to one that any Radiant Garden (now Hollow Bastion, but old habits die hard) resident had ever seen.

Barbossa might have had a sense of humor he would have appreciated if it wasn't for the fact that his breath stank of rum, teeth-brushing was apparently nonexistent considering the amount of cavities the man had, the constant presence of a pet monkey (who had better teeth than its owner), and the inexcusable amount of dirt under his fingernails. He also had this weird obsession with apples, and Zexion would have borrowed one of Vexen's poisons to use on the apple if it had not made him feel like the wicked witch in Snow White (who he had the utmost sympathy for. The witch, not Snow White).

Yes, Zexion was one picky lad, but considering how much he had to offer to his future husband (for some strange reason the thought of getting him a wife had never occurred to him nor Xemnas so it is an option best left unexplored) he rather thought he was justified in it.

But more so than any of the previous potential husbands-to-be, Barbossa was persistent. When none of Zexion's typical tactics (ranging from destruction of all hair care products to ground glass in his food) worked to dissuade the man and force him to leave—instead, the man seemed to be _amused_ by such antics—Zexion realized he would have to get serious.

So he slipped into the man's room in the dead of night and slit his throat, as he had told Vexen he would do should the circumstances demand it.

What he had not anticipated was the fact that Barbossa was not actually alive, so cutting his throat open did not really do much good. However, while impressed with the underhanded maneuver, Barbossa was not very pleased with the fact that Zexion had screamed like a girl when the 'pirate' had sat up, despite the blood gushing from the new slit in his neck. For someone who held no qualms about killing people, Zexion certainly did not seem to have the stomach to deal with people not staying dead, and thus Barbossa belatedly remembered an engagement (hopefully of a different kind) with one Jack Sparrow and left the following day—head slightly askew and blood running down his front and onto his new white shirt.

* * *

By the time he met the seventh of Xehanort's prime picks for the rest of his future, Zexion was starting to detect a distinct downward trend in the quality of these men. Namely, each one was significantly worse (yet more stubborn about leaving, despite their obvious inferiority to himself) when compared to the last.

In Gaston's case, the man was such an arrogant arse that Zexion was quite certain he would win _medals_ for killing the man. If he had to listen to _another_ story of one of the idiot's conquests against helpless, dumb animals as if it was some sort of actual accomplishment, he would have to fling _himself_ off a cliff.

On one such occasion, during an impromptu hunting trip Gaston had arranged under the guise of 'getting to know' his future mate better, the two were overlooking the countryside when Gaston apparently decided that it was time to murder innocent brain cells and said, "Did I ever tell you about my-"

"_Yes_," he lied through gritted teeth. Gaston looked completely unphased by this interruption, instead placing a disgustingly muscular arm around his thin, delicate shoulders, and smiling as Zexion struggled to remain upright when the idiot placed all his weight on him.

"Oh, but there will be many more stories once we are married," Gaston said, gesturing expansively with the hand that wasn't causing Zexion breathing problems. "And I know you will be pleased to hear them all, for this is the day your dreams come true."

He snarled, although it came out more like a wheeze (lack of oxygen could do that to a person), "I _highly_ doubt that."

"Picture this," Gaston said, apparently as deaf as he was stupid, "a rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting over the fire, my little wife-"

"I am _male_, you blind moron."

"-massaging my feet-"

"Only if you never want to walk again, arrogant swine."

"-while the little ones play on the floor with the dogs."

"We cannot _have_ children, you idiotic oaf!" Zexion hissed, still trying to push Gaston off of him in his everlasting quest to convert oxygen into carbon dioxide. Whoever would have known it could be this damn hard?

Gaston gave him an indulgent smile, "We'll have six or seven, of course."

"Dogs?" Zexion asked sarcastically, finally giving up on the entire breathing thing to concentrate on other equally important matters.

Gaston laughed, as if this was a terribly funny joke. "No! Strapping boys like me!"

"And what makes you think I will not drown them at birth to save the world of having more idiots like yourself running around?" Zexion replied.

But still, Gaston did not seem to be hearing any of this, apparently too entranced with the sound of his deep, booming voice to notice that Zexion was not only insulting him, but slowly dragging them towards the edge of the cliff that they were conveniently standing on. In fact, he so failed to notice this very significant development—that is, until it was much too late, when Zexion abruptly ducked away from under his arm. And seeing how he had placed all his weight on Zexion, he quickly lost his balance and fell to his doom.

With no one there to witness it, Zexion was able to smile quite whimsically as the country echoed with the scream that lasted until the very icky thud. And it was then that he had to admit that Gaston had made an excellent point—killing dumb animals really did have its perks.

* * *

"We should do something," Roxas said the day after Xehanort had finally gotten tired of his guests waking up the next morning to discover that their throats had been slit (the latest victim being Prince Charming, who some people sincerely did think Zexion would accept since he spoke very little; unfortunately, it turned out that this was simply a side effect of having no thinking ability, so that whatever did come out of his mouth was so insipidly moronic that Zexion had even shoved the body into the cage of the hungry Behemoth heartless who while having no heart to consume from a corpse, had no issues whatsoever with devouring this tasty body, although it was admittedly not very filling) and thus banished Zexion to his room. It was the closest Xehanort had come to conceding that the situation was a bit out of his control, seeing how the death count _was_ starting to get a little high. The last thing he needed, after all, was for any other future suitors to be scared off, no matter how much he threatened their respective kingdoms.

It should, however, be noted that Roxas said this not out of concern over the welfare of Zexion, as sibling camaraderie was not exactly commonplace in this particularly family. Rather, he did it because he was worried that he might be the next victim, should Xehanort get so angry that he do something _fatally_ drastic to Zexion before looking for the next child to marry off. And Roxas _knew_ that would be him, since his birthday was in four weeks and he would thus no longer be underage (although looks-wise, he would always be a blessing to pedophiles).

"Why?" Xigbar replied. "Let the kid handle it on his own."

No, family values were not very high on list of cherished things. Self-preservation, on the other hand, was very _in._

Roxas frowned, "And if it was you?"

"It's not me, so why should I care?" Xigbar replied practically.

"That isn't a very nice way of looking at it."

"Well, we're not nice people. What's your point?"

This, to the shock of everyone at the table, had come from Demyx of all people. But then, Demyx was understandably bitter, as he had tried to cheer Zexion up the previous night with an improv song-and-dance routine on how everything would be okay. Zexion had retaliated by opening the window and throwing a variety of test tubes and books at the aspiring musician, not even having the decency to wait for the resulting crash and pained yelping before slamming the window shut again.

Then, to add to everyone's surprise (as if they hadn't had enough of that already), Axel let out a low laugh as he leaned back into his chair, temporarily forgetting that it was one of those chairs that you _couldn't_ lean back into if you wanted to remain on your ass instead of on your head. After the subsequent flailing, squawking, and cursing, Axel—with a surprising amount of dignity although his cheeks were now as red as his hair—said, "Don't worry, Roxas. I've got a plan."

Silence. Roxas looked at the fire-obsessed eighth child with clear skepticism, as everyone knew that there was no lost love between Axel and Zexion. That, and the fact that Roxas clearly believed that Axel didn't have the brain cell capacity to come up with a solution to this very twisted situation. "You? **You** have a plan?"

"No need to sound so surprised, Roxy." Ignoring the low growl, Axel grinned at his favorite brother. "How would you like to go down to the city with me tomorrow?'

End Notes:

Hmm, Leon wasn't supposed to get introduced this early. I mean, he was obviously going to get in sooner or later (aka the next chapter), but he sort of snuck in when I wasn't quite expecting it… it's probably a good thing, as it establishes a link that can come into play later (yeah, I've totally got this thing thought out at all, cough). Or something like that, anyway.

For the Gaston section, a shout-out to my roomie who let me borrow her DVD and helped me get down his little speech on what his future with Belle would be like. She can say it creepily well….

On a random side note, I had no idea where this story was going _until today_. Oh yes, I'm so proud of myself—I think I have some semblance of future plot! This is very jolly news, I would say, although I guess that means the possibility this story will be dropped has gone down… which is not very jolly news for everyone else….

Heheheh.

PM


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Blush

Thank You's: Thanks for the reviews, guys, or specifically**SomeWhereFarOff**,**Coffee-Flavored Fate**,**Paranormal Medicine**,**Jackidy**, and **Silver Tears 11**! They make me all happy inside, and inspire me to work on future chapters instead of… you know, studying. And unimportant stuff like that. (cough)  
Also, many thanks to Coffee-Flavored Fate, who is bearing the brunt of my insipid ramblings to beta my KH fics. Sankyuu!

Notes: My usual apologies for the slowness in updates. It's midterms month, and I'm still working away on those law school applications. I swear I don't seem to remember college applications being this troublesome.  
Anyhow, a change of scenery in this chapter, with a focus primarily on Leon. It's about time he got some spotlight after all.  
On a random note, the rating went up because of Axel's potty mouth. Not because there will be smut in the future (there won't). But that's a _good_ thing because while PM can curse up a storm, she **can't** write smut to save her life (although it does have the potential to be permanently blinding).

_chapter 3_

When questioned about it later, Roxas would vehemently argue that he really had possessed no intention of going with Axel to the city. For one thing, such trips were expressively forbidden by Xehanort. Granted, Roxas had no idea what the reasoning behind _that_ was, considering how Demyx was the only one who ever had any interest in going out anyway. But while Roxas might not have respected Xehanort's decisions, he most certainly did respect the man's ability to _enforce_ said decisions, often through the most cruel and unusual punishments (he still shuddered when remembering the incident with the pink bunnies).

The other, somewhat more significant reason why Roxas did not want to go to the city was because of a tiny, tiny suspicion that Axel's plan was going to send them all straight to hell even if they _didn't_ get caught. In fact, considering how it was Axel, that was more or less guaranteed. This clearly meant that he would be doing everyone (except Axel, but he just wasn't that important in the grand scheme of things) a huge favor if he did what gut instinct told him to do, which was to knee Axel in the groin and stop this idiocy from continuing.

Unfortunately, this was something easier said than done, particularly when you have the equivalent body of a fourteen-year old girl. The only reason why Roxas got his way with the rest of his family was because Axel backed him up, and the only reason why Axel backed him up was because the pyromaniac was a pedophile at heart and _liked_ the fact that Roxas looked like… well, a fourteen-year old girl. But when push came to shove, Roxas found that short of batting his eyelashes at Axel—and there was no way in hell he was going to go that far, fate of the world or not—or miraculously gaining the muscle structure of say, _Lexaeus_, he simply didn't stand a chance when Axel was determined. The idiot had even gone so far as to handcuff them together, to ensure that Roxas would not under any circumstance be sneaking off to inform someone of what Axel was planning.

Honestly, Axel just didn't give him enough credit. Roxas would never have done such a thing; no way was he going to let somebody _else_ have the satisfaction of punching Axel in the face a few times.

Much to his disgust though, Axel was denying him the pleasure of doing even _that_. Usually Axel was game enough (or simply too love-smacked to care) to let Roxas do whatever he pleased—as long as it did not cause permanent damage or affect the hair, anyway. But today the red-head was being terribly uncooperative in the 'Let Roxas Beat the Shit Out of You Because You Totally Deserve It' department, which meant the blond had to settle instead for childishly kicking Axel in the shin every few steps. He didn't care that this made them an odd sight, the two of them walking through the town in ridiculous black cloaks (to conceal their identity, Axel explained) while the taller of them yelped every so often, his cries of pain countered by Roxas's snappish, "Take that, you moron."

"You know," Axel hissed after the fifty-sixth kick, "if you really want to show your love to me that badly, couldn't you just send flowers? I hear chocolates are also good, particularly when it's on your naked—ouch! _Shit!_"

"Do you _really_ want to finish that train of thought?" Roxas hissed back, eyes flashing.

Axel seemed to miraculously develop a sense of self-preservation. "No?"

Unluckily for him, Roxas was not the type of person to appreciate this very significant development as he simply said, "Good," before kicking Axel for the fifty-eighth time.

"_Fuck_!"

* * *

While Axel would have argued that he had been punished enough as it was (eighty-nine kicks and counting), it was Roxas's personal opinion that only splitting the idiot's head open with a dull rock would be 'sufficient' retribution. In fact, in his opinion it might actually be too close a call, since it was not as if Axel used that organ in his head for anything except for basic life functions. Simple proof of this fact could be found in Axel's so-called _plan_, which was in a way so utterly brilliant that if it somehow managed to succeed, they were all **doomed**.

"You have got to be kidding me," he groaned as Axel grinned at him with misplaced triumph. "What the hell were you thinking? No, wait, don't answer that. I really, _really_ don't want to know."

"But Roxy, where's the fun in that?" Axel asked with such cheer that Roxas's urge to throttle him increased three-fold.

"_Don't call me that_," he snarled. Much to his fury, Axel only grinned so he continued angrily, "In fact, if you ever call me that again, I swear I will gut you."

"Violence doesn't become you nearly as well as that schoolgirl outfit Mansex made you-"

"Shut up!" Roxas yelled. "Not in front of the idiot!"

Now, Leon could not help but take offense to this gross inaccuracy, and he expressed his displeasure by glowering at the insolent brat. After all, if wasn't as if he was actively participating in this… farce. Like Roxas, he would have been perfectly content to mind his own business if Axel wasn't so determined to further screw up his already majorly screwed-up life. Of course, one could argue that since he was already having a shitty time, anything Axel could throw at him wouldn't make it that much worse anyway.

But then, considering the kind of reputation Axel had for causing trouble, he wasn't about to hold his breath.

"He's not an idiot," Axel defended, and Leon might have thanked him (with the help of heavy drugs and group hugs, anyway) if this had not been immediately followed by, "Think of him as a perfect opportunity to spice up Emo Boy's love life! A once-in-a-lifetime chance! A golden shiny wire of hope! Got it memorized?"

"No, I don't 'got it memorized'," Roxas snapped, heavy sarcasm lacing his words as he repeated Axel's catchphrase with undisguised loathing. "I honestly _cannot_ believe that even you could think this was a good idea. Asking some random… _guy_ to get Zexion to fall in love with him? I've seen him around the palace! He's a _guard_!"

For reasons discussed previously, being a palace guard was not, as Roxas pointed out, going to win any points in your favor. Between the hideous uniform, horrendous working conditions, and paltry pay, only the truly desperate (or truly idiotic, as there were occasionally those who joined in the desperate desire to 'serve their country', not realizing that by doing so they were subjecting themselves to pain and humiliation) were willing to work there. Now, whether Leon was that desperate or just plain stupid, neither were qualities Roxas was looking for in a future brother-in-law.

A real brother-in-law, mind you. Not a brother who happened to be with another brother, technically also making him a brother-in-law despite the laws of nature going haywire and jumping off a cliff faster than you could say 'lemmings'.

"I already told you," Axel said with exaggerated patience. "His name is Leon, and he's-"

"-going to somehow seduce Zexion without forcing Vexen to make a love potion, yeah, I got that part. But _who_ is he? What do you know about him? He could be a serial killer for all you know!"

"Standing right here," Leon grunted, but his incoherent defense of his character was drowned out by Axel's cheerful response.

"And what exactly is the problem with that?"

Roxas smacked the palm of his hand against his forehead. "And here I was under the assumption that we were trying to _help_ Zexion. Not mess him up even more."

Even as he said the words, Roxas realized the immense flaw in the statement. It made sense, considering how the two brothers seemed to detest each other. Well, the majority of the family had some issues with everyone else, even those who seemed to get along fairly well. But when there were thirteen siblings fighting for recognition and affection from a single man, there were bound to be a few toes stepped on in the process. No wonder Xehanort had been able to take over the palace so easily, what with all the inter-family fighting constantly distracted Ansem the Wise. He wouldn't be surprised if his previous step-father had been almost _glad_ to be banished because… well, being alone in the darkness meant that at least there wasn't anyone he had to argue with.

"That might have been _your_ plan, but it's not mine," Axel informed him simply.

Roxas groaned, realizing that this was a losing battle. So he turned instead and appealed to Leon. "Why in the name of Ifrit are you agreeing with my idiot of a brother? What's in it for you?"

"But of _course_ he's doing it out of patriotism and goodwill," Axel said before Leon could respond. Not that Leon was going to anyway. For one thing, it was just terribly out of character. Since when did Squall 'Leon' Leonhart respond to anyone? Since when did-

"You're blackmailing him, aren't you?!"

… well, granted, there _was_ the little matter of those damned pictures.

"Now Roxas," Axel managed somehow to sound completely hurt, as if he had been accused of no less than burning puppies. "How could you think so lowly of me?"

And as a matter of fact, Axel _did_ actually derive pleasure from burning puppies. And kittens. Which might account for Roxas's bellowed, "_Because you're blackmailing him_!"

"But it's for a greater good! A good where a certain person with a stick up his ass will finally _get laid_."

"Axel, seriously. Stop talking," Roxas ordered, but this only prompted Axel to swing an arm around the blond. This movement was immediately reciprocated by a punch to the nose.

Leon blinked, deciding that it would probably be best if he did not even attempt to comprehend what was going on between the two siblings. He did, after all, have more important things to worry about. Like his apparent role in Axel's master plan, which was, as has been noted quite vehemently, not what one would term _voluntary_. Which could make the entire 'seduction' thing all the more difficult, considering how it was him, it was seduction, and it was Zexion.

Zexion, whose angry scowl was currently perfectly replicated on Leon's own face.

The very idea of seducing anyone was laughable. At least, it would be if Leon laughed. And Leon did not laugh. He rarely smiled. Smiling was for people who were happy, and he was most certainly not happy. Hence, the angry scowl, which clearly stated that he was not a happy person but an angry, unhappy one, and why would (ignoring the entire blackmail thing) an angry, unhappy person go around seducing random strangers?

Particularly random strangers who were part of the royal family which had a reputation of being oddly psychopathic and prone to murdering people without due process of law?

"Aw, you're adorable when you're ineffectually angry."

"Ineffectual_this_."

And why, one (or in the specific case, Roxas) might justifiably ask would someone like Leon be willing to do something as ridiculous as seducing someone he barely knew? Who he in fact did not want to know, considering how their last, thankfully short, meeting had gone?

Maybe it was because he didn't really have anything to lose.

It was a somewhat fatalistic approach, this entire 'what do I have to lose?' sort of mentality. After all, in a world where optimism was as commonplace as bouncing bunnies, Leon might have been able to brush aside the fact that his current existence was completely and utterly not where he wanted it to be, and would probably stay in that rut for the rest of his existence. It was strange, considering how Leon had relatively few expectations out of life (a result of being utterly pessimistic about everyone else, no doubt). He did not expect people to help him out of goodwill, nor did he expect life to be 'good'. Life was nothing to be poetic about. It was just going from one day to the next, until your organs collapsed out of utter boredom and decided they'd rather be decomposing than functioning.

And people wondered why Leon was not more popular at parties.

"_Shit fuck ow_!"

But then, all of that had changed when he met Cloud. It wasn't a lightning striking sort of thing. It was… more along the lines of being saddled with a mood-swingy blond who at some times seemed to parallel him completely. Life sucked, get over yourself. And then he was able to tell himself that hey, maybe life sucked, but at least_here was someone who agreed with him_. Except then Cloud would get all… well, he'd start tossing around the word 'mosey', and as if that wasn't bad enough, he'd disappear for stretches to hunt down some silver-haired psychopath named Sephiroth.

Cloud never was able to fully explain that little obsession to satisfy Leon, but then Leon knew he probably wouldn't be satisfied until Cloud stopped running off like that. It was very detrimental to the pattern of life he had created, where disruptions were about as welcome as a psychopathic clown living in a tower and blasting random villages left and right whenever he felt like it.

Needless to say, it was not something he dealt with well. It was hard enough for him to open up enough to let anyone else into his determinedly solitary life to begin with. It was much harder to realize that the person he _had_ allowed in didn't want to stick around on a permanent—or even_meaningful_—basis.

"Take that, and that, and _that_!"

"Goddamn it, Roxas, will you just _stop?!_"

Throughout this argument-slash-show of brotherly-to-the-point-of-suspiciously-romantic affection, Squall 'Leon' Leonhart only listened with half an ear. For he was very busy thinking about the note that Cloud had left on the bed, the one that simply said '_I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me.'_ (or at least that's what Leon _thought_ it said. It was hard to tell with Cloud's handwriting. He would have to get Aerith to look that over later). It still hurt no matter how many times it happened, which begged the question of why he let it. It was the same as saying that Leon was practically a world-class chump who let himself get hurt over and over again. He knew, after all, that Cloud was obsessed with Sephiroth, even if he still didn't know precisely why that was. Yet it still didn't stop him from letting Cloud come back to him each time he returned after another failed (as Yuffie termed it) 'Sephiroth Search'.

Or letting go without a fuss when he left again.

Oh yes, Leon was a moron, a masochist, a glutton for punishment. Those were all nice ways of describing his deficiencies (and looking back to his very brief meeting with Zexion just a few weeks prior, just the tip of the iceberg if he agreed to this plan). Well, not that he had a choice considering… those.

Leon eyed Axel warily, wondering if perhaps he might be able to overpower the man and steal back those pictures. With Roxas's help, it was quite possible… but knowing the bastard it probably wouldn't be enough. Besides, he wasn't the kind of person to ask for help. Although he _was_ deriving serious pleasure from watching Roxas kick Axel in the shins like that.

And even though he was technically committed to this plan regardless of his own wishes, there was still the tiny matter of _how_ he was supposed to go about it. Knowing Axel, the guy probably wasn't going to be offering too many pointers in that department. No, he had a feeling that if anything, this was going to be—if it was happening to anyone else, anyway—one of those 'delightful' comedies of errors that would either lead to true love or complete and utter hell.

He had a feeling he knew which was more likely.

With those thoughts and problems running through his head along with the proposal before him, Leon had quite a bit to think about. It was a wonder that his head had not yet started to steam up as if on fire from all that pondering. So he reacted in the only way he knew how.

"Whatever."

This heartfelt, dramatic, and most importantly _vague_ pronouncement was met by two stares.

"So… that's a yes, right?" Axel asked.

Leon glared at him—presumably irritated that his own catchphrase was being _questioned—_and repeated through gritted teeth, "**Whatever**."

"Guess that's a yes," Axel grinned.

Roxas just sighed. He had a feeling that this was going to be a very long and tiring experience, and he wasn't even one of the main actors.

Unfortunately, Axel chose this moment to break out in (high-pitched) maniacal laughter. At which point, even Leon, lost in the throes of his despair as he was, knew that he was totally and utterly screwed.

* * *

"You know," Roxas said as they walked back to the palace, "there's another flaw in the plan besides the fact that _you_ came up with it."

"And what is that, Roxy?" Axel asked cheerfully, for he was in a good mood seeing how he had just screwed people over. Nothing beat messing up lives, nope indeedy!

"Don't call me that. But I'm referring to the fact that of all the people you had to choose from, you ask the guy who doesn't have a romantic bone in his body."

"What makes you think he's not a closet romantic?"

Roxas rolled his eyes, resisting the urge to grab Axel by the hair and slam his head into the nearest wall. Repeatedly. Perhaps the only thing that stopped him was, again, the fact that it wouldn't make much of a difference anyway. "He spent the entire time glaring at us, Axel. That's not typically the sign of someone who is reading bodice-ripping novels and crying over the plight of the milk maid's long lost love. He's more likely a serial killer with the emotional range of Saix."

"Saix can be quite emotional, you know."

Roxas gave Axel a _look_ as he snarled, "Saix only had two emotions: sociopathic and sex haze. Neither of which is conducive to the entire 'falling in love' business. And what are you expecting, exactly? That he'll glare at our brother until Zexion suddenly swoons and falls into his arms?"

"Something like that," Axel replied with a shit-eating grin. "Actually, I thought it was a match made in heaven. They both like to glare, they both have no emotions, they both have six-foot poles stuck up their-"

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

He grimaced as Axel again flung an affectionate arm around his shoulders, cooing, "Yeah, but I'm _your_ idiot."

"Sometimes, I really wish that father had drowned you at birth."

End Notes:  
Points to you if you get the reference 'golden shiny wire of hope', double points if you know who the psychotic clown is (heart), and triple points if you know where that note comes from (here's a hint—it involves a post-it note). Maybe I should actually keep track of who can keep up with my random references….  
I debated offering points for the Leon's head-steaming reference. Um. Bonus half point if you get that one?  
And no, I'm not sure if anything will come out of this point system. Maybe I'll offer short-fic to people who get the highest score at the end of this mess, haha. Although I guess I wouldn't be able to stop anyone from cheating that way, which would sort of suck… err, who knows? Let's just play it by ear! Feel free to toss out suggestions, although nobody ask for fanart. Unless you want to be blinded. Because I'm really good at blinding people.

PM


End file.
